One To live a happy and healthy life, it is necessary to let go of the past. We often hear this advice. But as easy as it is to say, it’s harder to accept it. Sometimes it can be difficult to forget your partner’s past. Which can be a threat to both your mental health and relationships. So if you are also in such a situation, know how to handle it.
Is it okay to be unsure about your partner’s past? None! Uncertainty can never be perfect. This can lead to an unstable relationship between you and your partner, full of trust and arguments.
You must remember that every new relationship needs a fresh start. However, it is not always easy. You must know that everyone has a past and the past cannot be changed. Worrying about what mistakes they made in their past relationship won’t make your relationship better.
Give them the benefit of the doubt unless something really troubling comes up, like they cheated on their ex or were abusive. Try to build a healthy relationship with your partner based on how they treat you now.
Psychiatrist Dr. Sarthak Dave shared his thoughts on how to let go of your partner’s past in an Instagram post.
According to the expert, letting go is not the right word. When we give up something. It implies that we are superior or in a higher position than the other person. There should be no one superior or inferior in a relationship. Both partners must be equal and thus cannot “let go” of each other’s past.
Here are the tips that will help you deal with this kind of situation
1. Accept them as they are
The best way is to accept what they have been through. Whatever she’s been through in her past has made her the person you love now. There is nothing wrong with a person with a past. This is a process that you cannot question. It is better that you accept it positively and only then you will be able to build a strong bond with them.
Communication is the foundation of any relationship. We tend to keep quiet in such situations. Sometimes the reason for this silence is also to try to do something better for the relationship. Whereas at this point you are giving each other the silent treatment. All of this continues to accumulate until it is finally released in the form of excessive anger.
Either we become too silent or too angry. But are those the only two ways to deal with the problem? no at all! There is also a third way, and that is to communicate. Discussing this in a mature way and letting the other person know what makes you insecure and trying to find a solution is a better way to handle the situation.
3. Put yourself in their shoes
Put yourself in their shoes and think about what you would do if you were in their position. Consider whether it will be easier for you to go through the same situation. This will help you know how much honesty they need to open up to you and trust you. This can help you recognize how much your partner values and appreciates your feelings.
Now, how to accept your partner’s past and move on, there are so many things to consider. When you first learn about the relationships that preceded them, it can be natural to feel uncertain. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you to handle it in a mature way.
If you have been struggling with this problem for a long time, it is better to go to a therapist or relationship expert to guide you.
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